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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Sex & the tired mommy

Once upon a time.... Wait let me just put a disclaimer up here... I am about to talk about SEX!  No, I wont be talking about it in detail, but if you are my mother, son or sons girlfriend ( Hi Devon) you may want to skip this post. 

Ok, Once upon a time I used to really like sex, ALOT, then I turned 35 had 2 kids within 12 months and 12 days of each other , then a tubal ligation 3 months after that.  Unfortunately none of those things phased my loving husband and he still liked and does like sex, ALOT.

 My husband was gone for 5 days and came home last night, I pretended to be asleep because I knew what he wanted. After 5 days with the kids I was so exhausted, the last thing I wanted was sex or anyone near me for that matter.  I knew the mood would not pass and was woken up this morning earlier than I  would have liked, so ladies.... I took on for the team!

I remember when we first started dating and we would have sex 3 times and now we are lucky if it lasts 3 minutes, or is that 3 seconds?  I would go to Pure Romance parties and buy everything I could, I was fun, spontaneous and sexy.  When we moved out here to Oregon I threw out pretty much everything in the "toy" drawer, sadly none of it had been used in years, some never used at all.   It always sounds like a good idea at the time to buy all that stuff, right?

He always references the joke about why the bride is smiling when she walks down the aisle? 
His answer Because she no longer has to give a blowjob or blowjoys as he calls them (like the SNL skit) because it is not a job, it 's a joy. Sure, if you say so honey.  Before we got married and had those 2 kids 12 months and 12 days apart, I wore sexy underwear and nightgowns, was more adventurous and stayed up past 9:30 PM. Now he is lucky if I stay awake, have showered in 2 days and those flannel PJ's I rock are ever so sexy.

I think we have enough sex
I say: But we just had sex last Wednesday. Clint says: Honey, that was three Wednesdays ago. ~  DAMM!!!
 According to this statistic from Newsweek magazine~Married couples say they have sex an average of 68.5 times a year. That's slightly more than once a week.  My husband would be happy with that, he would prefer 5 times a week, but would take 1-2. DAMM again!! 
I was thinking once a month but I am guessing that will not fly~better luck next wife Clint.

I love my husband, think he is  very sexy and am very attracted to him.  He is very sweet and tells me how sexy I am and I should feel flattered he still wants to do the hippity dippity with me in my granny panties, flannel pj's and not showered . If that is not true love, I am not sure what is.  He is always thinking of ways to make our "sex life" interesting and fun so I have to give him props for not giving up.  I think he is hoping as I reach 40 in a few days, I will get my groove back and be the sex kitten he married~ a man can dream, right?!

I know I am not the only gal who feels this way, I have drinks with my girlfriends and we all talk about this.  We are tired, we are dealing with the kids, cleaning, doing the laundry, cooking, driving kids here there and everywhere, listening to kids fighting etc. etc.   I know I am not the only one finding myself thinking about the laundry list of thing I have to do during sex either or looking at my nails thinking I need a manicure. 

Another statistic shows that many women discover their sexuality from 40 years to 60 years of age. They have more time for themselves and are more relaxed to explore . If you have a kid at 35 I am not sure if I quite buy into that statistic,so maybe by 60 I will be ready.

When my groove does comes back, I just don't want sex, I want soap opera, Desperate Housewives, romantic movie kind of sex.  I want to go into my husbands office and have him lock the door, throw everything off his desk and we'll do it right there~ha right!  Do people really do that?  Do people really do it in elevators and car washes? How would you have time to do it in a car wash?  What about the beach, who wants sand all up in places sand should not be.  I want that romantic music with the fire going and all that slow, seductive foreplay.  Apparently these people have nanny's or no kids because who can have sex on the living room floor with the fire going when at anytime your child could wake up and then how are you going to explain that one?   Maybe we should just stick to our bedroom with the door locked and I will just settle for getting my groove back, enjoying the moment more and not daydreaming about what I need to make for school snack or what color I am going to paint my nails. I can certainly do that, I think?!


  1. You are adorable! Love it!
    Truth be told I don't have the same problem...but my kids are 6 years apart...makes life MUCH easier!!!

  2. Come on Rachel, don't be a bragger~LOL
    40 will be the year of all the sex for my husband~LOL

  3. I'm not's a burden I carry (LOL)! And it will get better...cause it can't get worse...right? :)