summer fun or summer bummed

Last year when we moved to Oregon we had the most beautiful summer weather and I couldn't wait until summer arrived again.  Unfortunately it was a long winter and summer didn't seem like it was ever going to come.  All winter as it got dark early and rained, alot I had visions of bright sunny days, frolicking by the pool with my kids, playing at the park and having all sorts of summer fun.

I was spending alot of time in the gym determined to work off the weight I had gained since moving here and to have my old summer body that I apparently left in Cincinnati and am never getting back.  The one sunny day we got teased with I pulled out my shorts only to find out they were quite tight, damm all those Starbucks coffee's!

Sadly I had to go to Old Navy and buy some new shorts in a size I will never admit to anyone and I'm cursing myself for giving all the clothes I had post baby away.  How silly of me to think once I lost baby weight it would stay off forever and I would remain my size 3.  Joke was definitely on me.  I got better at hiding my mid section and expanding hips and spanx were my new best friend.  I decided I was going to exercise, eat healthy, but still have my splurges and accept my body the way it is.  That was until I walked into a little boutique called OLIVE in the mall one afternoon while I was waiting for my cell phone to be fixed.   It was there I was slapped with the harsh reality of being told by a man that I had MUFFIN TOP!!

Of course, those of you who know me know that I do not look like this, or at least I don't think I do.  Nor would I be caught dead wearing a crop top even if I had the body.  Well, when I was 18 I think I wore one but not at 40. Now that my self esteem was smashed like a bug, I wasn't sure whether to go home and never eat again or go home and eat an entire sleeve of Oreos.  A few days later we went on vacation and when looking at t-shirts I was told by some 21 year old kid ( a guy, again) that research has shown the typical woman beer drinker is not a smaller gal which is why they don't make t-shirts in medium and that medium would fit me just fine.  Is this a sign I need to apply to be a contestant on The Biggest Loser?  My summer was slowly becoming very depressing. I definitely was not frolicking by the pool for several reasons 1( according to 2 men I am a fat cow and should probably not subject any one to having to see my body, especially in a bathing suit 2) I don't think moms frolic anyways or maybe ones with nannies do.

3) it was never warm enough to even make me want to take the kids to the pool, even though it is heated and 4) my children weren't making my summer any better with there behavior these days.

Let's move onto my adorable children shall we.  I love my children, don't get me wrong.  When they are asleep, I watch them and thank God for giving me these beautiful children. When they give me hugs & kisses and tell me how much they love me and when we snuggle, read books and play games I think I would never want to be anywhere else than here.  Unfortunately those moments only last about maybe 30 minutes.  I thought as they got older, it was easier to go places and in some cases that may be true, it isn't always. 

So far this summer I have spent a great day at the park until Parker thought it would be funny to take off running down a big hill and into the middle of a busy street as I chased him down the hill holding my friends 8 month old baby  This picture was before Parker's mad dash to the street

. I have had Regan beg for a big girl bike only to have her terrified of it and refuse to touch it ( up until a few days ago).I had one talk non-stop through the CARS 2 movie while the other one was freaked out that the seat was going to fold up and suck him in.( although after I promised to keep my hand or foot on it the entire movie, he was as good as gold). I have gone berry picking only to have my kids want to stay in the air conditioned car watching the DVD player.  Meghan, I hope you don't mind Diego is in this picture.

. I have taken them to so many fun places, the park, farmer's market, movies, NW Kids Club splashpads, the carousel, playdates, dance classes, gymnastics just to name a few only to watch them fight, have meltdowns, cry and ask to go home.  When we are at home, they are bored, when we are out, they want to go home.... I can't win!! From the time they wake up until the time they go to bed, all I hear is she hit me, he hit me, he took this, she took this, he's doing this, she's doing that, I want this, I want that... mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.......... can I please freaking change my name??????  I always wonder about those super moms who claim to love mommyhood 27/7 and being with there kids non-stop.  I'm pretty convinced that if they are lying or very medicated.  Regan never stops talking and Parker is mostly mellow until his sister really pisses him off then it's all down hill.  I am still not sure how one little person can talk so freaking much.  She is as cute as can be and some of the stuff she says is freaking hilarious, but please for 10 minutes just SHUT UP WILL YA???? I have been very good about saying can you please be quiet and not using the word shut up, but since Looney Toons uses it, Parker loves to say ahhh SHUT UP.  I keep trying to explain that is not nice, but Daffy Duck says it so it must be ok, right?? No, not really. How can 1 little 5 year old have so much to say, she is going to be in so much trouble in school, I feel so sorry for her teachers.  

I feel like I yell alot  and my kids say I do but my friend Jenn says I am very calm and don't yell as much as I think I do. I am really trying to be more patient, but I am not as patient as a 40 year old mom as when I was a 22 year old mom.

As much as they make me crazy, want to scream, drive off a bridge or drink myself into oblivion I love them more than anything in the world and just keep remembering what my mom always tells me. Payback is a BITCH!!

Regan's Garden

I have never had a green thumb, I always longed for one and would dream of a beautiful garden with vegetables a plenty and my front yard flowing with beautiful flowers.  With my bright white teeth, sassy gardening hat and tools I would tackle my yard to have the most beautiful flower beds and garden on the block.

Instead mine always looked like this  :(  I did everything the books said and took advice from the gardening experts yet I never was a success.  Not even the topsy turvy tomato planter from QVC that my mom bought me with the money back guarantee that anyone can grow tomatoes.  Sadly, that didn't even work :(

not one damm tomato, they all died and I did everything it said.  If I can't even grow a veggie with the topsy turvy, there was no hope for me.

Regan has decided that she wants to be a gardener and has great aspirations of a beautiful garden.  I don't have the heart to tell her mommy will probably kill it.

She insisted on these plants from the dollar bin at Target and excitedly wanted to start on them the minute we got out of the car.

Regan was very serious about her gardening.

 She was very careful and followed my instructions

( for once :))

We started with a few basic flowers, a veggie and some herbs.

Regan every hour asked if they had grown yet and I realized it was going to be a lonnnnnng day.   Every morning she checked to see if her flowers had grown and one morning she got a nice surprise.

The flowers had started to sprout ( this was taken today, so they weren't this big a week ago) and her basil, chives and mini tomatoes are starting to come along as well.

She is so proud and we have already bought more veggies and flowers to try some more.  Hopefully she got the green thumb in the family and I wont have to explain why none of our crops survived :)

on a side note.. who dressed this kid today??

6 years or does it feel more like 60??

Today is my 6 year wedding anniversary to Clint.  After everything we have been through the past few years it seems more like 60 years but we are still happy (sometimes), and still  madly in love as ever ( ask him that when "aunt flo" is in town) and his answer may be different.

If you ask Clint he will tell you I told him we were getting married and that he really didn't have much of a choice. There is some truth to that because had I waited for him to bring up marriage, 6 years later we would still be living together most likely.

We had a beautiful church wedding and an incredible reception that was one big party and tons of fun.  So much fun I forgot I had to be sewn into my wedding dress because the zipper broke right before we left for pictures and Clint had to cut me out of it that night ( talk about romantic!!)  That is also the reason in most of the wedding pictures my boobs are practically up to my chin.

Clint is the most patient, kind, giving, gentle and sweet man I have ever met.  He puts up with alot and dealing with me can be alot.  He still reminds me I sold myself as low maintenance when in reality I really am high maintenance.   I also apparently sold him a "bill of good" that expired after we said I do. ( if you don't know what I am talking about, I can explain it later)

After being together over 8 years, married for 6  with 2 kids + Kyle later, we have survived alot of ups and downs and as much as we get on each others nerves ( which is ALOT) I know that there is no other man for me.  I can not imagine my life without  Clint and as much as I probably complain ( because I do complain, ALOT) and I still don't quite get his sense of humor , Clint makes me so incredibly happy and I am very lucky he didn't leave me years ago :)

The life of a princess

Regan turned 5 and wanted a princess party and of course who was I to say no.  We invited 5 friends and headed off to Whipper Snippers for a princess party where the girls where treated to dressing up like princesses and pampered with nails and pretty hair dos.

Clint was not to thrilled with the price at first, but I didn't think it was that bad for all we got, plus after watching the TLC show Outrageous Kids Parties and seeing the $30,000 princess party, I am pretty sure $195 is a good deal.

The girls had so much fun and had so much fun being pampered. and all looked so beautiful after they were done.

Prince Charming, where are you???? We are waiting......

No party is complete with presents, princess presents.  Regan has so many nice friends who know exactly what she likes.  Of course I'm sure the lists she wrote and telling them over and over helped.

Then we had a mishap in the midst of the fun.... Princess down :(  Poor Sierra.  Puke clean up in aisle 2....    It's not a party until someone pukes, right?

It was a great day and Regan and all her friends had so much fun.  We are so blessed to have such a sweet, caring, loving, energetic , little diva princess . 

Cutting the cord

I learned the hard way that sometimes doing to much for your child can hinder them and not help them.  Kyle was my only child for so long and he was very spoiled.  Not only did I, but grandma's, aunts and cousins also did everything for him.  As he got older we all began to realize that we didn't do him any favors.  That has always been a struggle I have had with Clint is how I "coddle" him and need to make him more responsible.

I have to wake him up, he can not get up with an alarm, that will not help him later in life.  I finally stopped packing his lunch and if he doesn't do it, then he just doesn't have lunch.   He does do his own laundry, although he will let it sit longer than I'd like in the washer or dryer.  There are alot of things he asks me to do that he could totally do on his own and I can't fault him because I raised him that way.

Kyle is now 18 and I finally had to just set him free and let him learn his lessons the hard way.  Yesterday was that day.  Kyle has flown almost every month for the past few months and knows you need an ID to travel.  Before we left for the airport, I asked him 3 times if he had his ID and debit card.  I also told him we couldn't check him in online because the system was down so he would need his ID or debit card and go to the kiosk to check in.  He told me he was not stupid and knew what he was doing, alrighty then.....

On the drive up he decides to try and re-pack his bag in the car, is climbing from the front of the van to the back, clothes all over the place.  All I keep thinking is this is not my problem.

We drive almost an hour to the Portland airport, get to the curb at departures and I mention the kiosk again to which he replies " I need my ID"?  I am sure you all can imagine my reaction.  He starts t freak out, I start yelling because I asked him 3 times before we left and he tried to tell me he didn't know.  I am on fire by this point.  He climbs back up to the front seat, and starts to get out but all his stuff is not in his bag.  The United curb drop off is packed and I am half in and half out of a spot because people do not know how to pull up to a curb and make room for others.  He is trying to organize his bag, asked me what to do while people are honking there horns and the cop is flagging me to go.  I told him to figure it out and shoved him out of the car and sped off.  He had a debit card, cash and a cell phone, he could take the shuttle or a cab back to Salem if he needed to, but I was not helping him.  He got himself into this mess and he was going to be an adult like he keeps telling me he is and get himself out of it.  My mom was not to please I left him "stranded" , you would have thought I left Parker alone at the airport.  Nana is super protective her her #1 grandson.

They let him on the plane after extensive searching and body scanning but he was not going to be able to get back through CVG airport.  I told him I would ship his ID to Nana's and thought that would be the end of it.  Problem is, we can't find his ID and it is not where he thought it was.   Well, too bad, so sad I say and figure out how you are going to get back home.  I'm sure my mom will take care of it for him because after I asked her at least 10 times on the phone not to and to let him figure out his own mess I could tell she was going to do it.  That is not helping me or him.  We all should have been sent to enablers anonymous years ago.

I can guarantee you Regan and Parker are 100 times more responsible at 4 & 5 than Kyle ever was and I also realize it is my fault so I am not going to repeat the cycle with the next 2.

Don't get me wrong, Kyle is a  great kid and can be responsible.  He is amazing with kids, incredible with his brother and sister, kind and caring but he needs to learn to do more on his own especially since he is 18 and wants to move to San Diego.  I am trying to give him the reality of the big picture.

He assures me and Nana he will take care of getting back to Portland and I hope he does.  I just hope he doesn't have the same ID as Nana and thinks he can go to the DMV and get a new one being he has no SS card, no birth certificate with him nor is he an Ohio resident.  Good luck!

He has 10 days to figure it out and we'll see what happens, until then I am going to enjoy not having to hide food, clean up after him and PRAY alot that he figures this all out and realizes mom did this all out of love.

It's all fun & games until mom puts you on skis

My husband grew up skiing and it is his dream to ski with his children.  Regan has been asking to ski for some time now and Parker seemed undecided.  Since March is birthday month we decided to take the kids for some tubing fun and ski lessons.

The night before we packed up all our stuff, Regan kept talking all evening about how she was going to ski and how excited she was. She was going to get a good sleep so she would be ready to go.  She woke up pretty early came into our room and announced she had a good sleep and had lots of energy to ski.  We all got up, got dressed and hit the road for a fun filled family day.  The kids were so excited to see the snow.

We started out with tubing and the kids had a blast.  They laughed and squealed all the way up and down the hills.  We would get to the bottom and they would yell "let's go again, let's go again now".

Regan was so excited to get all geared up and ready to ski.

Look at these cute little future Olympic skiers all happy and ready to hit the slopes. We started out excited and ready to learn. 

Parker doing "the pizza" stance.  I see a gold medal in his future USA, USA.   Fast forward 15 minutes...............

Man down, man down.....

2 kids down...............  Sorry dad, looks like your dreams of little skiers just died :(

then it went from bad to worse, how worse you ask??





Both kids screamed to get the skis off, I had to carry both sets of skis, while Parker held onto my leg screaming he wanted his snow boots off.  Regan started taking her hat, gloves, goggles and coat off which I had to bend over and pick up with Parker attached to my leg screaming and 2 sets of skis.  Parker fell a few times and did a few dramatic roll overs and screeches that were best actor Oscar worthy.  At this point I am frazzled, sweaty ,in desperate need of a drink and not happy we just dropped $100 + 32.00 for new goggles for the kids to decide they didn't want to ski.  Pretty sure I could have gotten some sweet boots or a sassy new outfit for that money. Instead what I do have is no sweet new boots, nor a sassy new outfit and 2 whining, mad, pissed off crabby kids.~Life is really freaking sweet in my world right now!!!

We finally make it to the lodge and Parker is still screaming "get these boots off  NOWWWWWWW mommy" and a dad looks at Parker and says " I was watching you buddy and you were doing good, just keep on trying" to which Parker looks at him, throws himself back on the ground, points up and says "stop talking to me, don't talk to me, I go home NOWWWWWWW".  Good thing this dad had a sense of humor and we both laughed and I continued on ,desperate to get back to the ski school change room.  We finally made and Parker continued to cry for no reason and I tried to calm him down but all he wanted to do was go home.  Clint was snowboarding so we had to wait.  Bribes of slushies and ice cream finally got him to calm down.  Yes, I bribe my children with sweet snacks for my sanity!   AS we walked to the lodge cafeteria, I saw a bar so I decided to get myself a drink.  By this point, we looked like hobo's.  I had Clint's huge ski bag, Regan had just her socks on, Parker had one snow boot on, one snow boot off and I looked like , well this.....

I get to the bar and they wouldn't serve me because I didn't have my ID, it was in the car.  I was practically begging the bartender to give me a drink and not only did I not have my ID, but I had my husbands credit card, so we were hobos with no ID"s and a credit card not in our name.  I guess I am lucky they didn't call security on us.  I had to settle for a red slushie and was thankful the lady in the cafeteria area let me use my husband's card with no ID.

We finally found daddy and decided to head home.

Regan fell asleep eating her snack.

and Parker just fell, I had to push him back upright and make sure he was still breathing.







Overall family fun day was 85% fun.  We missed Kyle who didn't go because it isn't cool to hang with your parents and little siblings now that you are 18. Tubing was the best part of the day and even though skiing was a disaster, We have funny memories and stories that will keep us laughing for years to come.

Meltdown will commence in 5, 4,3,2,1......

This Saturday started out like any other Saturday, we got up and got Regan ready for soccer.  The only difference was Regan was in a really bad mood.  Regan and  Parker's friends Teagan and Finn came over last night and they were up until after 10 pm playing.  Today was bring a buddy to soccer day and Regan was bringing Teagan.  The concern was more waking Teagan because Miss Teagan does not like to be woken and is not a morning person, but she was up and ready for soccer, Regan was a whole other story this particular Saturday.

She complained about her socks, her pants, her sweatshirt, she would chant soccer, soccer then 2 minutes later cry she wanted her daddy and didn't want me to take her.  She then would chase me down the hallway wanting me, then telling me she was staying home.  Meltdown #1

 I should have known this morning was not going to go well.  It was time to leave and Regan picked a movie for the car and insisted on bringing coloring books and crayons for her and Teagan.  I kept telling Regan that it was a short drive and there is not time or need to color, but she wouldn't have it and grabbed everything, dropped it all then threw herself onto the floor.  Meltdown #2

We picked up Teagan and Jenn, stopped by McDonald's, got some breakfast and smoothies and headed to soccer.  Everyone seemed in a good mood, or so we thought.

We arrived at soccer and the indoor soccer arena is cold, but once you start running around you warm up.  Regan who usually runs it and starts following her coaches instructions grabbed onto me, wanted her coat, started crying she was cold and refused to put her own coat on and wanted me stand by me.  Meltdown #3

She finally started running around with Teagan and the other kids and I thought we were in the clear until the started kicking the soccer ball and she kicked her ball to the other end and decided she didn't want to get it.  Teagan went and got it for her, she started crying she wanted to get it so she kicked it back but then again refused to go get it.  The one coach went and got it and that is when meltdown #4 went into full effect.  She threw herself on the ground, cried, big crocodile tears running down her face.  I thought ignoring her might help, but she got louder, everyone was looking at us and all the other kids were asking what was wrong with her.  I tried to calm her down while the coach and kids started another drill, Regan still continued to cry, tell me she was going home, she wanted daddy, she wanted the hoola hoops.  I told her they weren't doing the hoola hoop drill today, she cried louder.  Had we not driven Teagan and Jenn, we would have been outta there 5 minutes into it..  Reagan was supposed to be showing her friend how much fun soccer was but instead she was too busy competing for best dramatic actress.  They then started the last drill and Regan decided she wanted to do the cones.  I told her she couldn't do the cones anymore, that drill was over and she was to busy crying to participate, that made her cry louder.  At this point I was really wishing their was rum in my diet coke I had with me.

Soccer was then over and it was time to leave which caused Meltdown #5 because Regan then decided she wanted to play soccer.  She cried all the way to the car, said she didn't want the rest of her smoothie, I went to throw it away and she started screaming she wanted it.  She then just whimpered all the way home and looked half asleep.  She said she wanted it quiet because she was tired.  She was tired?? I am pretty sure we were all tired of her!!

We dropped Teagan and Jenn off and Teagan was all smiles and had so much fun at soccer despite her friends meltdowns and crying, what a trooper.  We came home, Regan went and took a  little rest in her room and then came out and said she was calm and calm now.  I told Clint he is taking her next week because I am DONE!  I quit!!!! LOL   One problem.. mommy's can't quit :(  



I have this image of what I like my mother/daughter time to look like.

Instead I look more like this.

I know she was tired but every Saturday she goes out and plays like Pele', the one day her friend comes she has 10 kinds of drama.   I think it is time for us all to go to bed, wake up and start our day over.

Happy 18th birthday

Today is my son Kyle's 18th birthday.. I have been writing in a notebook for the past week about him and have yet to post it because I need to add all the right pictures.

The entire post will come in the next day or two, but I can not believe I am the mom of an 18 year old~YIKES!

Words can not express how much joy and love Kyle has brought to my world.  I thank God everyday for him and am so proud of the man he has become.  I couldn't have asked for a better kid.  Well, maybe a kid who puts the pretzels back and listens to me sometimes, but overall, an incredible kid  He is also the best big brother that Regan & Parker could ever ask for.

Here are a few pictures of Kyle through the years and yes that is me as a blonde :) 

Brad & Sue's wedding

 with Rachael & Jake in California

 

Christmas with his new hockey stick ( in Texas)

 Rachael, Kyle & Jake. These 3 go back a long way.  Who cut this kids hair??

Rachael & Kyle at our wedding rehearsal dinner.

 4 year old picture

official 2nd grader

Destin, Fl

Grandpa Casagrande & Kyle

Me & Kyle at the beach

Kyle & Regan

Kyle and his dad

I know your dad is looking down on you from heaven and couldn't be prouder of who you are and what you have achieved. 

Kyle's MMA picture