My semi-charmed kind of life

When my husband accepted a job in Salem, Oregon I was excited but scared, happy yet sad.  It was an exciting new adventure for us, but I wasn't one for change and I didn't want to leave my neighbors and friends.  I had the most amazing neighbors.

 What new neighborhood is going to have a polk-a-dot gang?

 Who is going to have a neighbor who will take my kids to Coney and forget to buckle them in there carseats? ( LOL)

 What neighborhood is going to have a little girlfriend for Parker?

What neighborhood is going to have friends who will drink wine at 11:00 am on a Saturday morning?

Who will throw you a great party if I move away again?

So while my husband Clint came to Oregon, we stayed in Ohio for a few months for the kids to finish up school, pack,  find new doctors, dentists, schools,gets things organized etc etc.. I was a single mom and at first I wasn't to happy, but then we got into our routine and as much as I LOVE my husband, I also loved our new routine.  The little ones had a hard time and I was sad at times, but my awesome friends, neighbors and family made sure I was never lonely.  Everyone kicked in to help pack, mow the lawn, help with the pool, watch the kids; I was very lucky and I didn't want to leave. The months flew by and the day came for us to say goodbye and that is a whole other post because there were alot of tears and the 5 day trek to Oregon... well, that could be a novel in itself!

We settled in and the first month was hard, I was lonely and found myself at McDonalds playland,alone texting my friends back home wishing they were here or I was there.  I found a part time job hoping that would fill the sadness and it did.  I finally had found my calling and felt like I had a purpose.  The kids started pre-school and I am able to work around their schedule.  I get to plan crafts, decorate rooms and plan fun activities.While I met some really nice people, I was still feeling lonely and just didn't seem to find the right group of people to "click" with. The type of people who liked to drink wine ( no I am not an alcoholic,although I do seem to talk about wine alot), go out without their kids, have a good time and let loose every so often . I was looking for the type of people from back home and was beginning to think they didn't exist.  I was introduced to one mom through a friend, we met, our kids played and got along. I felt like a dork that I was excited that I may have met someone that I could actually hang out with.  Come to find out that she didn't like me and she finally told me she didn't have "room" for any more friends right now.  I cried, how could anyone not like me?? I was nice, funny ( I thought), outgoing, giving and my kids are somewhat on a  good day behaved and polite.

I felt sorry for myself for a few weeks and then looked into the West Salem's Mom Club.  I received an e-mail back right away and was invited to a social.  The kids and I went and everyone was very kind and friendly so I decided to join.  I jumped right in with going to activities and joining committees, I had nothing else to do, right?  Because of this wonderful group of ladies, I have made some amazing friends, my kids have made alot of friends and I am feeling so much better and happier about living here in Salem, Oregon.

Thank you ladies for making me feel so welcome, making me laugh and being my drinking buddies :)  If it were not for these ladies I would also not have had the courage to start this blog.  A big thank you to Meghan, Rachel and Mindy who encouraged me and have helped me with this new endeavor.

For those of you who are wondering how my day has gone, I was able to show my face back in Target, but it wasn't Keiser, I was a chicken and went to Lancaster.  Parker did very well going to school without his sister so that makes me feel so much better about next year when they are in different schools.  Regan went to the Dr. and I feel really bad for calling her a drama mama because she did have joint swelling and pain due to an allergic reaction to amoxicillan.  That is also what caused the rash and hives.  Now I have 2 kids allergic to amoxicillan and I will have to sell a kidney to afford medication when they get sick since it is way more expensive to get something other than penicillin's.  Good thing I work 10-20 hours a week!!

After the Doctor Regan wanted to go to the craft store and get more craft supplies because "I am the BEST MOMMY and CRAFTER EVER" and she wanted to get more supplies to finish the crafts we started last night.  How can a mommy say no to that?  Not only was a the best mommy and crafter, I am also beautiful!  Now she gets anything she asks for.   After 3 stores and alot of money later, I am thinking I better re-think that facebook comment I made to my husband earlier because I may have to have sex to make him forget about how much I just spent on myself and his daughter.  I don't think that 10-20 hours a week will cover what I just spent~oops.  Funny how when you just have one child with you how much more behaved they are, makes me think I should have spaced my children all out over 13 years and my life would have been much simpler.  As I purchased the book Mini Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella I laughed because 1) I am not a reader and only read her books) and 2) I looked over at Regan who had a basket full of stuff and kept saying ooh mommy this is pretty, I must get this.  I have created a monster, a little shopping monster.  I can say I come by it honestly, my mom gets a Christmas card from the president of Macy's every year and they call sending out a SOS when they don't see her weekly ( I am exaggerating, but they do all know her at Macy's)

While my husband is happy buying his jeans at (gasp) SAMS or COSTCO, I am a shopping snob, I will admit, but since I am now a mom I have learned to search for the better deals.

So now I am off to bake cookies for the kids, finish up the crafts I promised them and do some work.  I also better rest up since my husband has been gone for 5 days, so ladies we all know what that means... I think I feel a headache coming on :)

The Overachieving Mom or just plain crazy?

My life has always seemed kind of chaotic, my husband seems to think I attract the chaos, I disagree.  I will admit I can not relax to much and am super sensitive. My husband has an odd sense of humor and I tend to get my feelings hurt, but have gotten better over the years.  I have always craved order and neatness in my life, I have never dealt well with mess, clutter and chaos, even as a child.  A place for everything and everything in it's place. I can never just do the bare minimum, It's all or nothing, go big or go home.  Later in life a doctor would tell me I was OCD.... This perhaps could be the reason I need to take Xanax ( LOL)

Before I had children, I was never late, always dressed up with hair and make up done, could eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound, I had money to buy clothes, shoes and purses and could come and go as I pleased.

 I had Kyle when I just turned 22 and I was a delusional mom. My child was going to sleep through the night, never have colic, be potty trained early, never have a binky or suck his thumb or be attached to a blankie, never run around in just a diaper or with a dirty face, always have perfectly matched outfits and so on and so on.  While he was a good sleeper and didn't have a binky and wasn't a thumb sucker, he had a blankie that to this day he keeps in his underwear drawer( he'll kill me for saying that), he potty trained by 3, but also had a bottle until 3.  I have pictures of him running down the side walk in just a diaper with a dirty face and accepted defeat, I was one of "those moms" The kind of  mom  that was a good mom, but sometimes, just too tired to care.  I cared that he was fed, dry, happy and healthy , but didn't care enough if someone snickered at me because he was playing outside in just a diaper on a 95 degree day.   I worked when Kyle was a baby, but was always there and as he went into school, I volunteered, went on field trips and made treats. Not just any treats, but the kind of treat that other moms hated me for, the ones that made them feel inadequate even though that was never my intention.  I was an overachiever and I was going to do whatever I could to make my son happy even though he could careless what type of treats I made.  It wasn't until he got older that he said he appreciated all I did for him and his classmates.  I tried to be the best mom I could, coaching soccer, helping with t-ball, playdates, parks, zoo, library, Kings Island    etc etc... I would see moms with more than 1 and think how in the hell do they do it, I am worn out with one. Fast forward 13 years later....

Regan was born when Kyle was 13 and Parker was born 12 months and 12 days later.  If anyone ever needed Xanax, it was me.  My saving grace was I had great sleepers along with a great husband and family.  This time around I was blessed to be able to stay at home with my kids but found it much for difficult to juggle 3 kids.  Kyle was in middle school and always needed to be somewhere, I still went on field trips, volunteered in the school bookstore up until I was about to pop out both kids and soldiered on through a  zoo field trip with a class of obnoxious 13 year olds while 9 months pregnant and chaperoned school dances. More and more often I left the house unshowered or bathed by only a wet wipe, no make up and hair in a ponytail and not caring.  I could no longer eat whatever I wanted and started to get the dreaded "muffin top"  I no longer felt sexy and vibrant, I felt like a big tub of goo.  I started exercising and running, lost the weight I wanted but was no longer able to eat whatever I wanted, getting old is a bitch!

Taking 2 children 12 months apart out of the house seemed to be more a challenge once they were both walking and and once they were I was asked constantly if they were twins.  When I would say no 12 months apart I would get " the look" or "the sigh" followed by some rude comment.  Obviously at least 95% of peoples mothers never taught them the rule if you cant say anything nice, just don't say it.  

I still strive to be super mom and joined a moms group, threw parties, organized crafts and playdates, our days were always full and I was always tired.

I longed for the day that they started pre-school and it was the most glorious day of my life when I found out Parker could start at 2 1/2 and he and Regan could go on the same days.  I signed them up without hesitation and off they went.  I was given a snack list and every holiday given an assignment for the class party.  Of course on snack day I just couldn't bring any snack,. snacks out of a box clearly wont do, so off to the craft store and grocery store we would go to prepare not only a yummy snack, but put it in a fun container of some sort.

As I sat up until after midnight last night prepping craft projects and putting together goody bags for Valentines this year, I hope they ,like Kyle will appreciate all what mom does from them because I do enjoy it , but I also wonder if they will look back and just think that mom was just plain ol crazy??

So off we go daily to pre-school, playdates, park, library etc.. etc... I feel like we are in the car more than we are home . As they get older it is easier to be on the go, not always, but most of the time.  While it seems like I complain alot, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

My saving grace as been friends, neighbors and the moms group.  Nothing ends a long week like a happy hour playdate~Cheers everyone!

Today started just like every other day except Regan woke up early because she was afraid she wouldn't see her daddy before he left for the airport.  Waking up 5:47 am equals a long day for mommy and even longer when daddy is out of town.  Parker didn't wake up until almost 10am and we needed to leave to meet our moms group for coffee chat at 10:30am.  

Everyone was dressed and ready, we had CJ hightops (the giraffe), Mia ( the cat), Alison ( the elephant) and blankies all in tow as we left the house.
We went to a new coffeehouse that had a kids playroom which was very nice, we may go every week and hope no other moms catch on.  Why isn't there a place where us moms can get coffee or wine ( LOL) while the kids play.  Like a Chuck E Cheese, but with less dirty , creepy and scary people.
CoffeeChat was fun and the kids were very well behaved, their credit card machine was down and the gal at the counter told me to come back and try again on my way out which I forgot and felt awful so I called and told them I would be back tomorrow with cash. We then ventured to Michael's to get some Valentine craft supplies, Parker found some trucks and I explained if he gets these trucks he does not get a toy at Target, he happily agreed.  Off to Target we go, seemingly happy until demons then took over my children and meltdown mania kicked in.  Regan wanted at $20.00 toy, I said she could have a $5.00 toy, Parker decided he didn't want his trucks anymore and he wanted a Thomas toy.  They yelled and screamed, antagonized each other and drove me to want to open a bottle of wine right there in the wine section.   Some crazy old lady was kind enough ( I say this with sarcasm) to tell me how to handle my screaming, obnoxious children to which I replied to her to mind her own damm business.  Not very Christian I realize, but some people just don't know when to butt out.  I would like to say we gracefully and quietly excited Target, but that would be a big fat lie.  Regan pulled on Parker, he pushed her, she pushed him and he wacked her on the head with a toy and they both started screaming again.  The mom behind me gave me a sympathetic smile like she had been there many times and a few laughed as I knew they felt my pain and I grabbed my bags and left.  Still screaming in the parking lot since I took both toys away.  Before getting them buckled in I made them say sorry, hug and calm down.  After all tears were dried, we went about to our next stop. Regan started to fall asleep onto our next stop lunch, she melted down as we were walking into the resturant so I decided not to even try, so McDonalds drive-thru it is for the 2nd time this week.

We ran our last few errands and arrived home totally exhausted and in need of a Xanax and glass of wine.  I put on the DVD's from blockbuster hoping to get them calm and Parker decides he doesn't feel like walking to the potty and just pees right there on the carpet, why? no clue!!

Things seem to calm down as both kids fall asleep on the couch only to be woken by some dumbass ringing my doorbell asking me if I want meat delivered to my door.  Not only do I not want your meat, you better run for your life for just waking up my kids!

Parker finally decided to play cars in the playroom while Regan decided to play Doctor with me.  She brought her Barbie computer down, asked me what my problems were and to tell her.  I asked "What did you say"? She said "Mommy, I know you have problems, you can tell me"  At that moment my kids were my problem, but as sweet as she is I didn't want to tell her that, so I kept it to myself and told her mommy was tired and had a headache.  She said, "mommy, that seems to happen alot".  Why yes it does and after our outing today,  can you blame me?

Dinner had been cooked, almost time for bath then it will be bed time and I will be able to have my wine and enjoy my peace and quiet.  

Tomorrow we get to wake up and start this fun party all over again.