Meltdown will commence in 5, 4,3,2,1......

This Saturday started out like any other Saturday, we got up and got Regan ready for soccer.  The only difference was Regan was in a really bad mood.  Regan and  Parker's friends Teagan and Finn came over last night and they were up until after 10 pm playing.  Today was bring a buddy to soccer day and Regan was bringing Teagan.  The concern was more waking Teagan because Miss Teagan does not like to be woken and is not a morning person, but she was up and ready for soccer, Regan was a whole other story this particular Saturday.

She complained about her socks, her pants, her sweatshirt, she would chant soccer, soccer then 2 minutes later cry she wanted her daddy and didn't want me to take her.  She then would chase me down the hallway wanting me, then telling me she was staying home.  Meltdown #1

 I should have known this morning was not going to go well.  It was time to leave and Regan picked a movie for the car and insisted on bringing coloring books and crayons for her and Teagan.  I kept telling Regan that it was a short drive and there is not time or need to color, but she wouldn't have it and grabbed everything, dropped it all then threw herself onto the floor.  Meltdown #2

We picked up Teagan and Jenn, stopped by McDonald's, got some breakfast and smoothies and headed to soccer.  Everyone seemed in a good mood, or so we thought.

We arrived at soccer and the indoor soccer arena is cold, but once you start running around you warm up.  Regan who usually runs it and starts following her coaches instructions grabbed onto me, wanted her coat, started crying she was cold and refused to put her own coat on and wanted me stand by me.  Meltdown #3

She finally started running around with Teagan and the other kids and I thought we were in the clear until the started kicking the soccer ball and she kicked her ball to the other end and decided she didn't want to get it.  Teagan went and got it for her, she started crying she wanted to get it so she kicked it back but then again refused to go get it.  The one coach went and got it and that is when meltdown #4 went into full effect.  She threw herself on the ground, cried, big crocodile tears running down her face.  I thought ignoring her might help, but she got louder, everyone was looking at us and all the other kids were asking what was wrong with her.  I tried to calm her down while the coach and kids started another drill, Regan still continued to cry, tell me she was going home, she wanted daddy, she wanted the hoola hoops.  I told her they weren't doing the hoola hoop drill today, she cried louder.  Had we not driven Teagan and Jenn, we would have been outta there 5 minutes into it..  Reagan was supposed to be showing her friend how much fun soccer was but instead she was too busy competing for best dramatic actress.  They then started the last drill and Regan decided she wanted to do the cones.  I told her she couldn't do the cones anymore, that drill was over and she was to busy crying to participate, that made her cry louder.  At this point I was really wishing their was rum in my diet coke I had with me.

Soccer was then over and it was time to leave which caused Meltdown #5 because Regan then decided she wanted to play soccer.  She cried all the way to the car, said she didn't want the rest of her smoothie, I went to throw it away and she started screaming she wanted it.  She then just whimpered all the way home and looked half asleep.  She said she wanted it quiet because she was tired.  She was tired?? I am pretty sure we were all tired of her!!

We dropped Teagan and Jenn off and Teagan was all smiles and had so much fun at soccer despite her friends meltdowns and crying, what a trooper.  We came home, Regan went and took a  little rest in her room and then came out and said she was calm and calm now.  I told Clint he is taking her next week because I am DONE!  I quit!!!! LOL   One problem.. mommy's can't quit :(  



I have this image of what I like my mother/daughter time to look like.

Instead I look more like this.

I know she was tired but every Saturday she goes out and plays like Pele', the one day her friend comes she has 10 kinds of drama.   I think it is time for us all to go to bed, wake up and start our day over.

Happy 18th birthday

Today is my son Kyle's 18th birthday.. I have been writing in a notebook for the past week about him and have yet to post it because I need to add all the right pictures.

The entire post will come in the next day or two, but I can not believe I am the mom of an 18 year old~YIKES!

Words can not express how much joy and love Kyle has brought to my world.  I thank God everyday for him and am so proud of the man he has become.  I couldn't have asked for a better kid.  Well, maybe a kid who puts the pretzels back and listens to me sometimes, but overall, an incredible kid  He is also the best big brother that Regan & Parker could ever ask for.

Here are a few pictures of Kyle through the years and yes that is me as a blonde :) 

Brad & Sue's wedding

 with Rachael & Jake in California

 

Christmas with his new hockey stick ( in Texas)

 Rachael, Kyle & Jake. These 3 go back a long way.  Who cut this kids hair??

Rachael & Kyle at our wedding rehearsal dinner.

 4 year old picture

official 2nd grader

Destin, Fl

Grandpa Casagrande & Kyle

Me & Kyle at the beach

Kyle & Regan

Kyle and his dad

I know your dad is looking down on you from heaven and couldn't be prouder of who you are and what you have achieved. 

Kyle's MMA picture

Brownies make everything better

I have been sick the past few days as well as having PMS so my adorable children decided brownies would make me feel better.  Regan climbed up got the box out, got the eggs and the oil and said she was ready to bake.

Regan put in the mix, Parker put in the oil and water then Regan the eggs.  I said 2 but she said the box said 3, which it did if you wanted cake like brownies, I said we wanted fudgy.  That lead to 20, no make that 1000 questions as to why, why, why why, why why mommy??????????

They mixed their little heart outs and then got the best part of helping bake brownies, licking the bowl and spoon.

We set the timer and every 2 minutes they came to ask if they were done yet and Parker kept yelling, I smell something good mommy.

Finally the brownies were done, but it was almost dinner time, so I told them after they eat dinner, we could make brownie sundaes.

We cut brownies, scooped out 3 different flavors of ice cream, poured on chocolate syrup, whipped cream and sprinkles.

Happy kids, happy mom, makes a happy day for all :)

Test Anxiety

I hate to take tests, I have never tested well and have major text anxiety.  In school, homework, extra credit and class participation always helped my grades since tests were never my strong point, I get so nervous I sometimes puke.

For my prior job we were required to be licensed in the states we did business in. I was licensed in 8 states, I think, possibly more.  I was grandfathered in for a few so I didn't have to re-test every year, everywhere because even though I knew the laws and guidelines, I still would get so nervous.  FHA/VA and Bond Money are always changing so those tests were the most nerve wracking for me.

When I moved from Ohio to Texas for my job and had to get a new driver's license all I had to do was turn in my old Ohio license and they took my picture and gave me a Texas one, easy enough.  When I moved back to Ohio, they made me take a written test.  I couldn't understand why since I had a license for so many years and knew how to drive even though the jury is always still out on that topic.  After studying and lots of anxiety I went to take the test and surprisingly did very

well.  I had hoped that was the last time I would ever have to take a written drivers test again, WRONG!

Oregon requires you to also take the written test and has the right to also ask you to take the drivers test.  I can tell you right now, I would fail before we even got out of the parking lot.  I am thinking maybe I should look into buying a bike with 2 seats on each side or look into bus passes.  I am not a bad driver, just the thought of having to take the test makes me nervous and I lose all sense of what I have known since I was 16. 

  
I got even more nervous when one of my employees told me she took the test and failed, she is super smart.  If she failed then there was certainly no hope for me.  I figured I have until 2013 to pass the test since that is when my Ohio license expires.

I have been studying the book and soon realized some of the laws are different from Ohio and I hate numbers.  There are so many numbers 100 ft, 300 ft, 500 ft.  How am I supposed to remember all these numbers??? How the heck am I supposed to know what to do if a horse gets scared and stops on the road?  Why would a horse be on the road anyways?  I am beginning to think what is up with this State,  why so many crazy laws?

My husband took the test last week and passed and I was sure he would get a 100% since he is really smart too.  He didn't do as well as I expected him to which then even made me more nervous.  However, he has an Oregon license and I still don't.   He thought it would be fun to make a little wager.  If I didn't pass then he would get, well... let's just say it was a sexual bet, one that I wasn't willing to take because I am not that confident I am going to pass.

 

I better stop blogging and get back to studying otherwise I am never going to pass this 
test, my husband will never let me hear the end of it and I may be stripped of my PTA, soccer mom in a minivan driving privileges.

Pissy Mood Syndrome

Every month I get a horrendous case of PMS that according to my husband lasts 4 out of 5 weeks of the month. I will complain I have PMS, then I will, according to him complain for the next week and week after and possibly the week after. For my sweet and loving husband who puts up with alot from me, this means that there is only a short window of opportunity for sex in our house these days.

I will admit that the week before I start pre-bitch mode because usually the headaches, sore boobs and zits start to show. Then the next week is when the dreaded Aunt Flo shows up and she stays for a week and it is always the worst week of my life. I spend the next week trying to recover from the previous 2 weeks traumatic events.  I think I might dislike Aunt Flo more than anyone, but I am sure alot of other ladies might have as much as a hatred for her as I do.  The worst thing about Aunt Flo is she never shows up on time and always catches me unprepared.  You would think I would be prepared by now, but for some reason I am not.  Being prepared would save alot of questions when we are in the Target bathroom and Regan asks why I am wearing a diaper.  Try explaining what a maxi pad is to a almost 5 year old, not easy as well as the other 20 questions she is asking.  She then usually loves to tell the check out lady about our bathroom experience.  As discreet as I try to be, I can't put anything past her.

People always say embrace being a woman, it is such a beautiful thing, we can give the gift of life, blah, blah, blah.  What woman likes going to a OB and having her feet up in stirrups once or twice a year while a doctor puts  cold and sterile tools all up in our lady parts.  While I love my children and am blessed to have them, squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a pea is just not beautiful to me.  The miracle of life is beautiful, but there are few parts in between I could do without. 

It's not that I dislike being a woman, I just could do without the headaches, bloating, cramping and bleeding like a slaughtered pig every month.  It's pretty bad when you are at the grocery store and a nice older man behind you in the line kindly tries to tell you that you may want to go to the ladies room because you have a slight problem that needs to be taken care of.  I was not embracing my womanhood that day nor did I think it was such a beautiful thing.

My family  and close friends are usually pretty aware that when PMS strikes that they are better off to stay away than attempt to talk to me.  I usually try to stay away from people during this time frame too. The only ones that do not get the wrath of crazy PMS mommy is Regan, Parker and other little kids because they love me regardless if I am bitchy or not and they don't understand PMS, yet!  If I am PMS'ing and you happen to cross me on a bad day, you may get this look and I promise you it is not pretty, sometimes my head will even start spinning.

My PMS and visits from Aunt Flo seemed to get worse after Regan and Parker, with age and having a tubal.  My doctor tells me these things happen to woman who have children at an advanced maternal age, I am 40, not 80 and I am pretty sure having kids at 34 & 35 is not that old.  They really should find a new word because telling that to an emotional pregnant woman or a woman with PMS could be hazardous to their health.

I am hoping to get my ablasion soon so I wont have to deal with Aunt Flo and hopefully life for me and everyone around me for those 3 weeks will be a much happier one.

All the single Barbies

My sweet Regan is very independent, she will never be a pushover and I am thankful for that.  My daughter also may have inherited the "no filter" gene that my sister and I seem to have.

When Kyle was Regan's age he would say things that were maybe a tad embarrassing like asking the waitress at Frisch's why she had no teeth or asking the old person sitting next to us why he smelled funny.  I soon found out my child was not the only one who said things like this and they would soon grow out of it and learn how to be more discreet and he did.  Kyle was also more a calm, laid back child while Regan is very loud, vocal and kind of my wild child and I find her comical, most of the time.

This morning we went to soccer and she informed  her coach that she was once again bringing sexy back.  Then she said I like my booty, look at my booty when they went to play the game where a shirt hangs out of the back of your pants.  Some of the parents looked at me kind of strange as I was giggling, I guess they thought I should have been beet red?

We then went from soccer to Target, as we got off the highway she saw Target and said "Oh mommy, there is my favorite store in the while wide world.  I love Target more than my little dude (Parker)".  That must be some serious love, I love Target, alot, but I'm not sure I love it more than my kids or husband, I'll have to think about that one :)

We were in the Barbie aisle looking at stuff and she was telling me all the stuff she wanted for her birthday. This one lady and her daughter were looking and her and Regan struck up a Barbie conversation.  They were buying some Barbie clothes and Regan started taking about how her and her Barbies like to be naked.  I am pretty sure a bunch of naked Barbies chilling in the Barbie dream and hot tub naked does not mean she will grow up to be a stripper or run a brothel. The naked thing is a family thing, most of the girls in our family ran around or stripped off their clothes alot as children.  Some in the family still like to be naked, I am guessing in the privacy of their own homes, don't know, don't want to know.


She then informed the checkout lady that we loved Target more than her little dude so we left him at home and he wasn't getting anything from Target since he had been bad and wouldn't stay out of her room.  She looked at me like she wanted to call the police on me until I explained, he was home his dad and his sister was just being silly.   She then informed her and the people behind us about her "booty itch" and how she has booty cream and likes to run around the house naked.   Muzzle, yes please!

We then went to McDonald's because they had the new barbie fairies in the happy meals and she really wanted one and we needed to get lunch so off we went to McDonald's.  She started playing with her Barbie and started single " All the single barbies" and told me "daddy Ken likes it and needs to put a ring on it".  Maybe we should start listening to the Laurie Berkner band in the car and not Beyonce or Justin Timberlake anymore.  I thought she was listening to her show with those headphones on, but it appears she can do 2 things at once.

She likes to tell people how mommy has a tattoo and how she wants one just like me and how she wants her nose pierced to.  People look at me funny, but do they really  think I would let my almost 5 year old get a tattoo or nose piercing, her ears aren't even pierced.  I had a friend ask the opinion on facebook if a piercing would affect her children negatively because she was interested in getting her nose done.  The opinions were interesting but what stood out is how one woman said what parents do don't have as much impact as what there friends do.  While that is a scary thought, people who have judged me for having 2 tattoos and 2 piercings while thinking that impacts my children negatively can kiss my ass.

My children had dropped a dammit from time to time and we have told them that is not an appropriate word to use and they can say dominoes instead.  While we don't encourage that language and immediately tell them they should not use those words,  I would like to meet the parents who think they are perfect and have perfect kids.  We tend to chuckle because it is kind of funny to hear them say it.  Does that make me a bad mommy? I don't think so, others might disagree.

I have relatively well behaved children who have good manners, play well with others
(except if it is with each other), do well in pre-school, go to Sunday school, say prayers before meals and bed, are kind to others and are happy and healthy.   I don't judge the tiger moms so if you are one and are judging me, then stop!

I must go and catch my half naked , booty obsessed daughter because all the single Barbies have a date tonight and we must go get them dressed, unless Regan decides they are going to a nudist colony, which wouldn't surprise me.

Every party has a planner

I love to plan parties, in a perfect world, I would have my own party planning business that would be super successful and make kids all over town happy.  I have no experience or training in event or party planning but it is something I have always loved to do.

No matter where I have worked I always seem to be the person they have asked to plan or help with something party related.  Even if I didn't have the time I would still do it because in my mind I always had grand ideas I wanted to bring to life.  Of course my grand ideas took alot of time and money which where never in the budget,  I always had champagne taste on a beer budget.

Poor Clint had no idea what he got himself into when he asked me to marry him, that was one heck of a party and not a cheap one either, but it was our wedding, we were paying for it so why not have the party you want, right?

Regan's 1st birthday party was celebrated in pure princess style.

Birthday parties for my kids were no exception either until one year when I went way overboard.  I then realized as much as I love my children, staying up until 4am night after night prepping one month in advance for a party for a one and two year old probably wasn't totally necessary nor will they even remember it.

We had 60+ people, it was a Dora/Diego pirate party, food, games, goody bags, crafts and this amazing cake my friend made.  After that party, I decided to scale them down, ALOT.  I would like to add we asked that instead of gifts donations be made to The Ronald McDonald House of Cincinnati in the kids names.  While everyone didn't do that, I wanted at an early age for my kids to learn that birthdays aren't all about the gifts.  They do get gifts, but we also like to have donations made in their names as well.  Surprisingly I can not find one good picture of Regan from this party~grrrrrr.

The next year was more low key and they chose a Thomas party.  We did a small friends party and then a separate family party.  Once again, my timing was off with Parker' haircut and his hair looks like a badly placed toupee :(

Regan loves a good party, just like her mommy.

We also celebrate on the kids actually birthday also and a family party, so they have 3 parties actually with 3 different cakes.  Wow, am I starting to sound like a lunatic?

Last year we decided to have the kids party somewhere other than our house.  We had a large size party combined with both kids but we didn't have to deal with much and it was the last year the kids would have a combined party.  The party planner in me was stating to get sluggish.

We also celebrated at home too.   This year I remembered to get Parker a haircut :)

Kyle had parties from 1 year up until he was 16.  He had clowns, Chuck E Cheese, Bowling, Movies just to name a few.  Clint always asks me when did it become necessary to have these extravagant parties with loads of friends and goody bags.  Every party has a pooper that's why we invited you.. Clint Dameron.

Growing up my sister and I always had family parties, I didn't have friends parties and it was fine because I didn't know I was missing anything. My mom always made our birthday specials.
Family parties from my dads side was another story.  Gifts consisted of crazy items like a burlap sack that my mom would throw away from Uncle Tommy and a Farah Fawcett doll from My Uncle Wildman. 

Come to think of it, this may be why my sister considers her birthday a national holiday and celebrates all month long.

 I also have dabbled in some catering/holiday/baby shower planning.  While again, I had no experience, they were always a hit and I was asked if I could be booked to do more.  I finally realized that I couldn't do these on my own and to hire people to help would leave me very little profit, so I hung up my apron.  It was also an easier decision since Clint was offered the job in Oregon.

I now plan monthly parties for the kids at church with a different theme for Parent's Night Out.  I spend weeks planning several months out in advance, researching, budgeting and putting it all together.  I do have help, but being the perfectionist and control freak that I am, it is hard for me to just hand a list out.  This, of course is why I am probably always stressed out.


It is now time to plan this years birthdays.  Kyle will 18, Regan 5 and Parker 4.  Kyle is going back to Cincinnati for his, so that was easy.  Of course an 18 year old would rather spend time with his friends and girlfriend than his mom, step-dad and siblings.  Parker really doesn't care as long as his sister isn't there since she keeps telling him he is now allowed at hers.  Regan, following in the footsteps of her mother has been planning her princess party for months.   I can only imagine what she will want for her 16th. I guess I better start saving now or start selling my organs because that is how she likes to rolls.... Big Money, Big Party, NO Whammies! :)

The pretzel incident

I have a teenager that will be 18 in 8 days.  He is a very sweet boy, well mannered, polite and an all around good kid most of the time.  He is an incredible big brother and has an adorably sweet girlfriend who I hope will be my daughter in law one day.  When it comes to listening to mom, that is a whole other story.  Kyle has what I like to call selective hearing, he seems to hear only what he wants to and usually claims I never asked or told him to do something.  I am pretty sure that is a condition 99.9% of teenagers in the world have.

I am very proud of my son and all his accomplishments even though sometimes he thinks I am the meanest mom ever.  I am pretty sure I am not the meanest mom and Kyle has it pretty darn good and most kids would love to have it as good as Kyle.  No Kyle does not have a car or tons of fancy things, but he has never lacked for anything. He has always had lots of love, toys, a cell phone, video game systems,  nice clothes and shoes, played sports etc.. etc... 

Kyle lacks one skill, neatness.  I am a neat freak and being that he was raised by me and lived with me one would think he would be neat.  His dad was not a neat person so that must be a hereditary thing??  Kyle is a complete and utter slob.  His room is always a mess, you never know what is clean or dirty and it has that boy "funk" smell that almost makes you pass out when you open the door.  Thank goodness for Febreeze and our friends who work at P&G on the Febreeze account who have given us an endless supply for free.


As much as a neat freak as I am, I have learned to just shut his door and let it not get to me.  He cleans his room every so often and when he does it is a wonderful, lovely event.  Unfortunately it doesn't stay that way for very long.


We don't have tons of rules as Kyle is a very good kid, but we have asked him over and over not to take food or soda/Gatorade's into his room.  The way his last carpet looked when we moved and with us currently living in a rental, we had to put that rule in place.  The problem is Kyle sometimes thinks certain rules don't apply to him and that is when the selective hearing comes into play.

Case in point is what I like to call "the pretzel incident".  Kyle got grounded yesterday, but if you ask Kyle why he got grounded, you would get a different story and some would think I am a crazy, insane mother.  Regan's favorite snack is pretzels, we always have extra bags of pretzels in the pantry.  Kyle also loves pretzels which is fine, but Kyle also is a growing teenage boy who eats alot and sometimes the food in our house goes very quickly with one forgetting that 4 other people live in this house.


Yesterday Regan wanted pretzels, I went to get them and I couldn't find any.   I texted Kyle to ask where they were.  I thought surely they aren't in his room, he knows better.  I went upstairs to his room, put on my gas mask before I entered his room and went in search of the pretzels.  After a few minutes I found them shoved under his nightstand.  At that point I looked like a scene from the exorcist.  My eyeballs popped out and my head started spinning, steam came out of my ears... this was the last straw.  I texted him to tell him he was grounded and he needed to clean his room or I would add extra days.  I don't think that was to extreme since after I have told him over and over not to take food into his room.


I picked Kyle up from school and he he was not happy, he kept insisting how stupid it was he was grounded over having pretzels in his room and I couldn't seem to get it through his thick skull that he was missing the point, but he insists he wasn't.  I told him he was being dramatic and he replied back I was being dramatic. AHHHH, the joys of having a teenager.  He didn't want to talk to me anymore and went to his room where he called his girlfriend and told her what a wretched mother I was.  I am sure all his friends now know and are thinking what a wretched mother I am.  Who would ground there son over pretzels? .  Of course, he didn't share the whole story, they never do. 

To hear Kyle tell the story, it was like a scene out of mommy dearest.  
Instead of me standing over him with my face cream on and a dress with a wire hanger, I had a bag of pretzels I was beating him with, but they felt like rocks and it was HORRIBLE.  NO MORE PRETZELS.....NO MORE PRETZELS.......


Of course that did not happen, but you get the point.  I really think Kyle should be in drama class because he could win many Oscar's for best dramatic actor.


I am pretty sure 241-KIDS would not find this a valid complaint of child abuse, but he is free to call and tell them all about it :)

I sound like my mom when I say this, but I always tell Kyle that I can not wait until he has kids because payback is a bitch!  He says he will never be like me, but ohhhhh boy, I can not wait until he has kids well, take that back.,I can wait and I hope he waits for quite awhile.