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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Menopausal Maniac


 
It is no fun being a bitch on-wheels, especially if people aren't used to it. My husband is used to it, some of my friends are but only when I get really mad, but people who don't know me probably wont talk to me ever again after this. Well I knew my life was going to  turn upside down when I heard these words "menopause".... What would happen to my usual charming self?? I was finding myself discombobulated and not able to find common words or recent memory in simple conversation, and ohhhhhh those hot flashes, the the coldness, then the hotness, holy hell, make it stop!!!!  
Menopause sucks ,I'm 40, my name is Meredith and I appear to be a menopausal maniac.. Here is how it all began.

After I had Parker, I had my tubes tied, worst decision ever but that is a totally different post. Each year as I got older PMS and Aunt Flo's montly visits seemed to get worse and worse which anyone who knows me, especially my husband knows that is just no good for anyone within a 50 mile radius. Before I hit 40 there had been talks of ablations, partial hysterectomy's fun stuff like that. Initially the insurance we had in Ohio wasn't going for either option but I'm not sure my Doctor seemed to really want to make a case for it either.  Pretty sure he enjoyed seeing me suffer as I blamed him for messing up my tubal and then him blaming the poor anesthesiologist. Did I mention I have a history of going in for simple surgeries and I am that random 1-2% that seems to have the complication no one else ever has?? It has only happened twice, but what are the odds? I do know 2 other people that has happened to also, so I am not a total freak.

I loved the practice, all the nurses & Doctor's, but the lesson I learned was check with the female Dr's before letting a male Doctor talk you into a surgery when he doesn't have those parts to back up how easy it is to heal!  Anyhoo... we moved to Oregon and the first gyno I went to was all for surgery and started the process, then my husband's work switched insurance so I had to switch gyno's which is not as easy as one would think in Salem, Oregon. Finally found a gyno, in just a regular check up I was told I was peri-menopausal~yay for me and as soon as my gyno saw my records and had me come in on Aunt Flo's monthly visit, she scheduled me pretty quickly for that surgery. So if you are wondering here is the definition of perimenopause.
Perimenopause typically begins several years before menopause, when the ovaries gradually produce less estrogen. Perimenopause lasts up until menopause, the point when the ovaries stop releasing eggs. In the last one to two years of perimenopause, the decrease in estrogen accelerates. At this stage, many women experience menopause symptoms . The average length of perimenopause is four years, but for some women this stage may last only a few months or continue for 10 years. Perimenopause ends the first year after menopause (when a woman has gone 12 months without having her period). 
That just sounds FANTASTIC doesn't it??

2 surgeries later I seemed to bypass perimenopause and went straight to menopause, how lucky am I?? 

I am already a moody,emotional person so you add menopause to that and it is not really good for anyone, not anyone at all. Oddly, my patience with the kids is fine, it is just everyone else in the world I can't seem to stand.  If you look at me the wrong way I may yell, snap or possibly cry.   If I don't know you I might possibly slug you. I tend to stay in my house more or away from people in fear of insulting, slugging or yelling at them. Then there is the possibility of getting arrested for being naked in public because I may get so hot I may have to take my clothes off which is not a good look either considering menopause makes you gain weight and it's alot harder to take off the weight and it all goes to the mid section.   Menopause is no fun for my husband either. Imagine me bitchy times 10,000. I think he might want to consider living in another state for the next 10 years and just send money. The man should be a saint, I am not an easy person to deal with at times which I admit but if he wants to keep his manly parts he may want to stop with some of his funny to him, not so funny to me comments.

All I know is that I am not that far into this and I hate it, I remember my mom going through it and I really hope modern medicine has improved or it's going to be a long 10 or so years people.  Hormone therapy is the next step and I really hope it helps otherwise I may end up in the insane asylum, jail, a crazy cat lady or maybe I should just stick with wine and drink thru.
Next time you see me maybe give me a smile or a hug, (but  hug only if you know me)because if not I may cry or punch you. If you try and hug me and I don't know you I will slug you and you might get pepper sprayed. I would hope I wouldn't punch you, but you never know what Meredith you might get. I seem to be calmer when I drink wine so just bring me wine and I will be happy all the time.. hmmm problem solved

1 comment:

  1. All I can say is bio identical hormones. No one needs to suffer and I have used them for a year. Best choice EVER!!

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